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War-weary, former military captain John Carter is 'asked' by the Army to join, but he refuses so he is locked up. He escapes, and is pursued. When Carter touches a dandellion, he inexplicably transported to Mars. In a world on the brink of collapse, Carter rediscovers his humanity when he realizes that the survival of Barsoom and its people rests in his hands.
The most indelible performance in the film is not, strictly speaking, a performance at all. Rather it is Woola, a six-legged Martian hound who rather resembles a cross between a bulldog and a fetal gila monster.
If Cecil B. DeMille were alive today and given the chance to direct a special effects-laden fantasy adventure on Mars, he might have made something similar to Andrew Stanton's visually stunning epic "John Carter."
Even if Edgar Rice Burroughs' 11-volume series is adapted by its three screenwriters into a nonsensical mess, then it should at least be a visual feast, right? Hardly.
As one of Pixar's star players, Stanton is an experienced cinematic storyteller, which is why it's disappointing that his first live-action project is so unwieldy at times.
"John Carter" is certainly an interesting idea for a film, with a power struggle on an alien world and an outsider affecting the balance, but sadly it never ends up fully working.
Whenever the fighting stops and two people have to stand and talk, all the air goes out of everything. Suddenly it feels as if we're in an empty theater, watching a dusty old sword-and-sandal epic.
The reported $250 million price tag for John Carter gives one pause. I suppose one could argue that masterpieces have no price. Then again, John Carter is no masterpiece.