What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth ...
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What do I do when we're not taping? Sit in a dark room and refine my plans for someday ruling Earth from a blimp. And chess.
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If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.
If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.
I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the te...
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I'm Jim Phillips, I have multiple personalities. I'm also a skindiver, a puppeteer, and I was the tenth president of the United States.
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I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.
If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!
If I were a man with gills, I would be a fish!
If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.
If I could rap, that would be a sensation, but I can't, you see, I'm just a Caucasian.
I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.
I'd rather drive the yellow brick road, you wouldn't happen to know of a rental car place around.
On performing improv theater: "I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what peop...
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On performing improv theater: "I'm convinced to do improv. All you have to do is listen to what people are saying to you, and then just add more information to what they've just said. That's all there is to improv, but it's the hardest thing to do"
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That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.
That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.
Back off or the lizard gets it!
Back off or the lizard gets it!
I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the...
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I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.
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The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.
The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.
Never trust sheep.
Never trust sheep.
Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
Never interrupt me when I'm eating a banana.
The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.
The sky, the sky beyond the door is blue.
You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on b...
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You know, I've got a confession to make myself. I'm not really a priest, I've just got my shirt on backwards.
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If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.
If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.
I look like Walt Disney just threw up.
I look like Walt Disney just threw up.
If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.
When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.
When it comes to making love, I may not be the best, but I'm damn gouda.