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Sam Witwicky leaves the Autobots behind for a normal life. But when his mind is filled with cryptic symbols, he is hunted by the Decepticons under the orders of an ancient Decepticon name The Fallen, who seeks to get revenge on Earth by finding and activating a machine that would provide the Decepticons with an energon source, destroying the sun and all life on Earth in the process.
It adds up exactly as you'd think if you've seen a moving picture before; the motivations are simple while the laughs pound you about the head and face.
I would like to think that even if I was 14, either in body or spirit, I would still find this film an impossibly, incomprehensibly overlong and cacophonous bore.
Eager to get myself into the right mindset for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, I turned to the multiplex patron sitting next to me and politely asked him to slam my head against the forward seatback.
The movie is like the play date from hell, the kind where a crew of children reduce your home to rubble and conduct endless bouts of loud war on the living-room floor while you ponder the propriety of opening a bottle of wine.