Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
Sorrow is tranquility remembered in emotion.
[on actress Dame Edith Evans] To me, Edith looks like something that would eat its young.
[on actress Dame Edith Evans] To me, Edith looks like something that would eat its young.
Excuse me, I have to use the toilet. Actually, I have to use the telephone, but I'm too embarrassed ...
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Excuse me, I have to use the toilet. Actually, I have to use the telephone, but I'm too embarrassed to say so.
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under m...
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I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.
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Reviewing Katharine Hepburn on Broadway: "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
Reviewing Katharine Hepburn on Broadway: "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B."
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end-to-end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end-to-end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
The only '-ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
The only '-ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.
On truth: Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
On truth: Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery.
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out o...
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow.
Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
Brevity is the soul of lingerie.
(In 1955) "Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are."
(In 1955) "Hollywood money isn't money. It's congealed snow, melts in your hand, and there you are."
[on children] The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let...
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[on children] The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant--and let the air out of the tires.
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I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope th...
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I'd like to have money. And I'd like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that's too adorable, I'd rather have money.
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One more drink and I'll be under the the table, two more drinks and I'll be under the host.
One more drink and I'll be under the the table, two more drinks and I'll be under the host.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.
Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.
Scratch an actor - and you'll find an actress.
[on actress Marion Davies] She has two expressions: joy and indigestion.
[on actress Marion Davies] She has two expressions: joy and indigestion.
[on Basil Rathbone] Two profiles pasted together.
[on Basil Rathbone] Two profiles pasted together.
Upon being told that former US President Calvin Coolidge (known as "Silent Cal" for being very tight...
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Upon being told that former US President Calvin Coolidge (known as "Silent Cal" for being very tight-lipped) had died, she quipped, "How can they tell?"
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Time wounds all heels.
Time wounds all heels.
Once in her long-running feud with Clare Boothe Luce, Mrs. Luce held the door open for Mrs. Parker t...
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Once in her long-running feud with Clare Boothe Luce, Mrs. Luce held the door open for Mrs. Parker to walk through and said, "Age before beauty." Mrs. Parker walked through and said, "Pearls before swine." Another time, when told that Mrs. Luce was kind to her inferiors, she said, "And where does she find them?"
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After George Oppenheimer and Ruth Gordon each wrote plays with characters based on Mrs. Parker in th...
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After George Oppenheimer and Ruth Gordon each wrote plays with characters based on Mrs. Parker in them, she wrote, "I wanted to write my autobiography, but now I'm afraid to. George Oppenheimer and Ruth Gordon would sue me for plagiarism."
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People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.
People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.