Celebrities Chris Rock, Birthday: 7 February 1965, Andrews, South Carolina, USA

[on his short-lived job at Red Lobster] The thing about Red Lobster is that if you work there, you c...Show more »

[on his short-lived job at Red Lobster] The thing about Red Lobster is that if you work there, you can't afford to eat there. You're making minimum wage. A shrimp costs minimum wage. I cleaned up after the kids. Kids don't eat. I used to zero in on a kid. 'Don't touch that scallop. Please don't touch that scallop.' Show less «

I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like mus...Show more »

I never wanted to churn it out. Comedians tend to work all the time. They never put it down like musicians who might make an album then take three or four years off to recharge their batteries. Comedians tend to work straight through and they get stale because of that. Even when I didn't have a lot of money I never ever did it unless I had something new to say. Show less «

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in...Show more »

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school. There were parents with signs: NIGGER GO HOME. For all intents and purposes, the United States had been practicing apartheid until '68. I was spit on every day. I had water balloons with piss thrown at me. I was fucking Carrie (1976). Show less «

Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties. I wasn't invited. [on Jada Pinke...Show more »

Jada boycotting the Oscars is like me boycotting Rihanna's panties. I wasn't invited. [on Jada Pinkett Smith's refusal to attend the 88th Academy Awards / Dolby Theatre, February 28, 2016] Show less «

If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a w...Show more »

If you live with a single parent, you don't see compromise. You witness a grown person living in a world where they do what they want to do. When you are raised by two parents, you are constantly watching compromise take place. Just by observing that, it made me a better person. Show less «

Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up ...Show more »

Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day -- that's pretty much what today's comedy is about, Show less «

I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laug...Show more »

I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like "Gee, I've got something here.". Show less «

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone e...Show more »

Every comedian has a moment in his life when he realizes he's a little bit different from everyone else. It's like being the only guy in a movie who sees the ghost. The ghost talks to you and you talk to him. Then you turn to your friend and say, "Hey. Do you see that ghost?" And he says, "What ghost?" Show less «

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that...Show more »

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6 million, and you can literally start counting the days until he starts doing crappy movies. Show less «

All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say ...Show more »

All people naturally hate. My kid bites people now. I didn't teach my kid to bite anybody. Kids say mean stuff. Only through love do we get this evil out of them. Only through love and structure and discipline do they not hate. The kids that hate didn't learn anything, that's the problem. Show less «

There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a w...Show more »

There's no interference in stand-up. It's all the things it's hard to get in film: I get to have a wife, I get to have kids. I get to be sexual. I get to grow. I get to be a man. Show less «

[on Charles S. Dutton's criticism of Martin (1992)] Is Charles Dutton funny? Huh? At the end of the ...Show more »

[on Charles S. Dutton's criticism of Martin (1992)] Is Charles Dutton funny? Huh? At the end of the day, no. He's not. Charles Dutton is not as funny as Martin Lawrence. Now, I got nothing against Charles Dutton... but let's be truthful here. If Roc (1991) was funny, it would be on the air... But Charles Dutton is always preaching. How can you say someone has a negative image? You're A Murderer! Show less «

A man is basically as faithful as his options.

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anythin...Show more »

I like talking about subjects that aren't funny in the first place and making them funny. So anything down and depressing is something I'll talk about. Show less «

It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They calle...Show more »

It's my real name. My mother's name is Rose Rock. It was the worst name as a kid to have. They called me Piece of the Rock, Plymouth Rock, Joe Rockid, and Flintstones. Now they call me Mister Rock. Show less «

At home, [we play] a lot of Disney stuff -- _Raven [Raven-Symoné],High School Musical (2006) soundt...Show more »

At home, [we play] a lot of Disney stuff -- _Raven [Raven-Symoné],High School Musical (2006) soundtrack. My kids love Beyoncé Knowles, but there are a few songs I can't let them listen to -- they're so materialistic! They're all about chinchilla coats and BBS Slims [cell phone]. I'd rather have them listening to a protest song! Show less «

I think what kind of person you are during success is who you are. It's easy to be nice in failure a...Show more »

I think what kind of person you are during success is who you are. It's easy to be nice in failure and when you're broke - then you really need a lot of help from people. But after you win some money, that's the person you really are, because now you can be mean to people. You can act like an asshole. I've seen people trip out again and again. A lot of times this behavior, when you're up, will determine if you get another shot someday, because things in this business always go down. I want them to say, "He was a nice guy during the whole process. He never did the entourage thing." Because that ain't funny. It's annoying. Show less «

[on being compared to Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy] I'm much closer to Mort Sahl and George Carlin...Show more »

[on being compared to Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy] I'm much closer to Mort Sahl and George Carlin and Sam Kinison... It is what it is. Show less «

[on the Saturday Night Live (1975) sketch that got Chris Farley noticed] 'Chippendales' was a weird ...Show more »

[on the Saturday Night Live (1975) sketch that got Chris Farley noticed] 'Chippendales' was a weird sketch. I always hated it. The joke of it is, basically, 'We can't hire you because you're fat.' There's no turn there. There's no comic twist to it. It's just fucking mean. A more mentally together Chris Farley wouldn't have done it, but Chris wanted so much to be liked. As funny as that sketch was and as many accolades as he got for it, it's one of the things that killed him. It really is. Something happened right then. Show less «

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a ...Show more »

The only reaction that frightens me is people not laughing. It's extraordinary to me when you get a laugh. That you can go in front of a bunch of people you never met before, you can say some stuff and they all laugh in unison - that's amazing. It's a miracle. Show less «

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, ba...Show more »

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it. Show less «

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

I'm more patient. I'm less of a recluse. I've been on TV for a long freaking time, and it can defini...Show more »

I'm more patient. I'm less of a recluse. I've been on TV for a long freaking time, and it can definitely isolate you. You get to where you only have things in common with people in the business, and kids open you up to a new world. You have something in common with just about everybody. I think I'm a better artist. Everything I've done since I've had kids is better than the stuff I did before I had kids. Show less «

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam (1992) and Charlie Rose (1991). And do wel...Show more »

I pride myself on being the guy who can do Def Comedy Jam (1992) and Charlie Rose (1991). And do well on both. Show less «

I'm a nerd. I'm a little guy... the last guy you'd expect in a romantic movie.

I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and ...Show more »

I don't think my comedy is that political. It's more social. But whatever. When you make comedy and you do stand-up, you work alone. Movies have to go under so much scrutiny. A stand-up special is a vision, and a movie is a consensus in a lot of ways. Show less «

to the black students: you are black when you're black and in show business if you're not making his...Show more »

to the black students: you are black when you're black and in show business if you're not making history you're not making anything you're really not, your making history at every step every forward movement is history everything Eddie Murphy did was history the stuff Will Smith is doing right now is history I have been blessed with opportunities to do things that men so much better than me and so much smarter than me that never got the chance to do, to everybody else, show business is a hard job if it was easy everybody would be doing it and no one is entitled to any of it I'm a pee on to what David Geffen can do or Jeffrey Katzenberg can do, when you're in show business Spielberg, Geffen, Bruckheimer and maybe four other people everybody's else is auditioning for the rest of their lives, I am auditioning I got a movie coming out right now and when that movie comes out I am officially unemployed and it don't mean nothing until I got something else coming out Show less «

Women would rule the world - if only they'd stop bitchin' about each other.

I always say there's no more little girls, just boys with (breasts). Girls act like boys nowadays. T...Show more »

I always say there's no more little girls, just boys with (breasts). Girls act like boys nowadays. Teenage girls, they go after boys. They're predatory just like boys. My goal is to keep my girls, girls. Show less «

America is the most powerful country in the world and I think every intelligent country should be co...Show more »

America is the most powerful country in the world and I think every intelligent country should be concerned about what's going on here. I've got no beef with Brits objecting to our election outcome. I applaud that. I'll tell you right now, Americans don't care about what's going on in other countries. Show less «

Don't exercise much. It's not really funny. Jim Carrey looks like he's in pretty good shape, but tra...Show more »

Don't exercise much. It's not really funny. Jim Carrey looks like he's in pretty good shape, but traditionally, funny guys have never been buff. Why do people do yoga? It clears their minds. I embrace the clutter in my head. I like it. What funny guy's got it all together? Show less «

The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a ...Show more »

The best part is just having a partner. There is no real worst part. I'm not going to say there's a worst part. I mean I'm a comedian - comedians like to work alone. So maybe I'm not the ideal guy to be married to, in that sense. Show less «

For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too pe...Show more »

For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too personal - but I look at myself as a reporter. If you can report on anything that has to do with pop culture, then why can't I make jokes about it? Yes, it hurts. But I figure that laughter sometimes starts from pain. You might wince, but then I know that I'm doing my job. The only thing I can do wrong is not be funny. Show less «

It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do ...Show more »

It's weird with stand-up comedy. It doesn't really translate worldwide. I want to figure out how do I make it worldwide. Do a special in Africa. Can't beat that. Pull that off, then I will have done something. Show less «

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whol...Show more »

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world. Show less «

I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to fl...Show more »

I used to have horrible cars that would always end up broken down on the highway. When I tried to flag someone down, nobody stopped. But if I pushed my own car, other drivers would get out and push with me. If you want help, help yourself - people like to see that. Show less «

People want comedians to be funny. I mean I love Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind...Show more »

People want comedians to be funny. I mean I love Jim Carrey in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) but it ain't a better performance than in Dumb & Dumber (1994). I can do serious roles sometimes in other people's movies but not in one of my own. I don't wanna ask my fans to come and not laugh at me: "Hey! Come on, let's go see Chris Rock not be funny!". Show less «

I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool...Show more »

I'm happy if everybody else is. I'm a big brother, the oldest. If you're happy and I'm not, I'm cool with that. If I'm happy and you're not, I'm sad. Show less «

Hollywood's just not funny. You walk around and think 'Where's the funny at?' It's not there - all t...Show more »

Hollywood's just not funny. You walk around and think 'Where's the funny at?' It's not there - all there is is a bunch of directors and actors walking around. I like going into a diner and meeting real people. Funny is where the real people are. Show less «

I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a ...Show more »

I always say about my daughters, they save me from my miserable self. They take me out, you know, a comedian, you could live in your head a lot. And you're writing and you're doubting. But when I'm with my kids and my family, it's all about them. Show less «

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black gu...Show more »

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick' and 'Colon'. Show less «

I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage a...Show more »

I'm like the Hulk on stage. It's way over the top. That's Bizarro Chris. Sometimes I get off stage and go "What did I say?!" I'll watch one of my [stand-up] specials a year later and go "Eww, that was mean". Show less «

[on Louis C.K.'s late success] I feel like I'm James Brown, and Jimi Hendrix was in my band. He was ...Show more »

[on Louis C.K.'s late success] I feel like I'm James Brown, and Jimi Hendrix was in my band. He was just some kid I used to beat up, and now he's back, and he's Jimi Hendrix. Is he better than me? I don't know, maybe. He used to write for so many people. "I'm going to L.A. and take some pitch meetings, write some shows." Dude, write for yourself, I would constantly tell him. And some people are funny older than they are younger. Rodney Dangerfield was that. Redd Foxx was that - had careers as young people but when they got older, it was, like this guy's hysterical. And Louie, at 44, it's the sweet spot for him. Show less «

[on being a black student in a predominately white school] My life was Welcome to the Dollhouse (199...Show more »

[on being a black student in a predominately white school] My life was Welcome to the Dollhouse (1995). I would get beat up every day, called "nigger" and spit on. You get used to it. I couldn't fight back, I was so outnumbered, so I would just stand there and take it. The worst part is that, after a while, your spirit is broken. I'd go to my parents and say, "Take me out of here." But they thought it was a better school. I guess it toughened me up. Show less «

The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So ...Show more »

The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, "Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny.". Show less «

I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbag...Show more »

I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck. Show less «

I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I wri...Show more »

I don't write jokes first. I write down topics. I think of what I want to talk about, and then I write the jokes -- they don't write me... And even if you don't think it's funny, you won't think it's boring. You might disagree, but you'll listen. And maybe even laugh as you disagree. Show less «

It's no different. It's not like I ever cursed around my mother or anything. I never had a hard time...Show more »

It's no different. It's not like I ever cursed around my mother or anything. I never had a hard time turning it on and off. It's like you enter another country - sometimes you're in a cursing country and then you're in a kid's country. Show less «

It's the worst script I've ever gotten. The rap group was called Nubian Nation Pussy Patrol! I'd hav...Show more »

It's the worst script I've ever gotten. The rap group was called Nubian Nation Pussy Patrol! I'd have been happier getting an envelope full of anthrax. - on receiving the script for Marci X (2003). Show less «

I probably, I might be the only black comedian in the country who hasn't gay-bashed. Ever. Like ever...Show more »

I probably, I might be the only black comedian in the country who hasn't gay-bashed. Ever. Like ever, ever! Show less «

I used to watch my father go to work every day and come home and be so beat. We had seven kids. I al...Show more »

I used to watch my father go to work every day and come home and be so beat. We had seven kids. I always wondered what he really wanted to do. Now that I'm older and have my own kids, I realize there's nothing better than to work for your kids. I'm sure he got more gratification from his work than I do. My father was feeding his kids every week, paying the heating bills. If he didn't work, then it didn't get done. There's a tremendous amount of gratification from that. And a tremendous amount of pressure, too. Show less «

Does having a wife and kids change your life? Yes. but only in the best way. It gives you weight and...Show more »

Does having a wife and kids change your life? Yes. but only in the best way. It gives you weight and authority. It also makes you closer to the audience because the audience is married and has kids. People without kids know nothing about kids. Jokes about your kids are always better than jokes about your brother's kids. Married guys know more about women than single guys. Single guys have girlfriends. Girlfriends are always auditioning, always on their best behavior. Wives are like Supreme Court justices - they do whatever the fuck they want. Show less «

Nobody's about saving anymore. No one cares about a rainy day anymore. Nobody saves up enough for ev...Show more »

Nobody's about saving anymore. No one cares about a rainy day anymore. Nobody saves up enough for even an umbrella for a rainy day. It's sad. It really is a new form of slavery. We used to work to be able to afford material things. Now we work FOR these things. They're the boss. That house you can't afford, that car that's out of your price range, that cellphone that drains your bank account - that's your boss. Show less «

Dude, people love Grown Ups (2010). I don't care what the critics say. Who won the Academy Award thi...Show more »

Dude, people love Grown Ups (2010). I don't care what the critics say. Who won the Academy Award this year? The Artist (2011)? Hey, "The Artist" was great. "Grown Ups" is better than "The Artist", and it's better than "The Artist" 'cause the audience says so. No film critic's going to say it, but "Madagascar 3" is better than "The Artist," and it's better because it makes people feel better. That's ultimately what it boils down to. Carrot Top's better than Mort Sahl. Is he a better writer? Are we going to jot down Carrot Top's prose 100 years from now? I'm not saying that. What I'm saying is, Carrot Top makes people feel better than Mort Sahl ever made people feel. Show less «

[on _Head of State (2003)_ ()] I was directing it for the wrong reasons, maybe out of fear.

I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The ...Show more »

I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were better than the white shows. The Jeffersons (1975) was a lot better. Good Times (1974) was way funnier. Sanford and Son (1972). Now, though, everyone thinks we're equal, so we submit the same shit that everyone else submits. And then we get mad when they won't air it. You got to go back to the old attitude of it has to be twice as good. Show less «

[on the success of Chris Rock: Bring the Pain (1996)] I thought, hopefully this will be better than ...Show more »

[on the success of Chris Rock: Bring the Pain (1996)] I thought, hopefully this will be better than other HBO specials, and I'll get whatever rewards come with that. Maybe somebody will want me to do a sitcom - if I'm lucky. Next thing they were talking about it on C-Span, and I'm like, Huh? My only goal was to do a show that was good enough that when I played a club, I wouldn't have to promote it on radio. Show less «

[on hosting the Oscars] I didn't want to do it at first, they offered it to me a few times. I though...Show more »

[on hosting the Oscars] I didn't want to do it at first, they offered it to me a few times. I thought the risk was too big next to the rewards, but it was a conscious decision to have a big year. I also wanted to get some offers and stop writing movies, we ended up getting a high rating and it was fast show. There's no more pressure in show business than that first seven minutes of monologue, that is it, your whole life is on the line. Show less «

Nobody's good. I hate it. I truly hate it. I mean, there's a lot of guys doing stuff I admire, but s...Show more »

Nobody's good. I hate it. I truly hate it. I mean, there's a lot of guys doing stuff I admire, but stand-up-wise I feel very alone. I really miss [Bill] Hicks. I wish I could have put him on my show. And I really miss Sam [Kinison] a lot. Richard [Pryor]'s sick... It's like you get here and then, oh wait a minute, there's nobody here any more. I feel like the guy who finally got into Studio 54, three years too late, "Duh, where are all the famous people?". Show less «

I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do ...Show more »

I've been married for 10 years and, you know, it's hard, you spruce it up and you go places. How do you spruce up anything? Artificially. You go places and do things. Show less «

You know, just right place right time, lucked up. Thank God for animation. I can turn down a lot of ...Show more »

You know, just right place right time, lucked up. Thank God for animation. I can turn down a lot of movies now. Show less «

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the ...Show more »

I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show. Show less «

I love music. Music is the soundtrack to the crappy movie that is my life.

I shouldn't be able at this late date to go into a club and be better than guys who are there every ...Show more »

I shouldn't be able at this late date to go into a club and be better than guys who are there every night. Nobody really wants to be a stand-up, they want to get on TV. Everybody wants to be Seinfeld (1989), nobody wants to be Jerry Seinfeld. Show less «

I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the lit...Show more »

I think if I were to get as big as I could get, it does change your mind-state. I think like the little man. I think like the underdog. I don't want to change that. Show less «

How do I say this without sounding like an egomaniac? I don't know a comedian that sells more seats ...Show more »

How do I say this without sounding like an egomaniac? I don't know a comedian that sells more seats than me in the red states and blue states, so I don't see where I have to change that much. Show less «

I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you'...Show more »

I love having somebody there - that companion thing. You know who you're going to eat with, who you're going to see a movie with. Show less «

[hosting the 2005 Academy Awards] Black movies don't have real names. They get names Iike 'Barbersho...Show more »

[hosting the 2005 Academy Awards] Black movies don't have real names. They get names Iike 'Barbershop'. That's not a name. That's just a location. Barbershop. Cookout. Car Wash. You know, Laundromat's coming soon. And after that, Check-Cashing Place. Show less «

Chris Rock

Chris Rock's FILMOGRAPHY

Chris Rock'S roles

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