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The hot-headed young D'Artagnan along with three former legendary but now down on their luck Musketeers must unite to battle their way across Europe on a mission to foil the plot of an evil conspiracy that threatens to overthrow the king and engulf the whole of Europe into full-scale war.
This version of the Musketeers story can't decide if it wants to be an old-fashioned tale of swashbuckling adventure and palace intrigue or a cheeky, effects-heavy rethink of some iconic characters a la the Guy Ritchie-directed Sherlock Holmes.
While you're busy looking at the special effects, you'll begin to notice that there's not really anything in the way of substance like a well-thought-out plot and characters that you care about.
Jovovich tries hard to be terribly, terribly wicked, but her performance finds a hitherto unknown middle ground between Divine in Pink Flamingos and Halle Berry in Catwoman that's just embarrassing.
Even the most liberal viewer is likely to echo Milady's thoughts of D'Artagnan: "You are very amiable, no doubt, but you would be charming if you would only depart."