Celebrities Jasper Carrott, Birthday: March 14, 1945 in Shaftmoor Lane, Acocks Green, Birmingham, England, UK

I have that working class fear of having nothing. I've always got one eye on what's in the bank.

[Who Wants to be a Millionaire UK Ad Campaign, Celebrity and Public Vox Pops: What would you do with...Show more »

[Who Wants to be a Millionaire UK Ad Campaign, Celebrity and Public Vox Pops: What would you do with a Million?] Put it with the others? Show less «

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

I was working with Robert Powell on the series, and he's this really serious actor who's always goin...Show more »

I was working with Robert Powell on the series, and he's this really serious actor who's always going "What's my Motivation?" "Because it's Funny!" Show less «

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a f...Show more »

I just felt that 'Golden Balls' was the right thing to do. I didn't care if people thought I was a failure. Show less «

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron...Show more »

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for. Show less «

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

I've played with some very famous bandits in my time on the celebrity golf circuit.

Happiness to me is simply not being unhappy.

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chas...Show more »

There is no way in my right mind I would contemplate running 26 miles-plus unless it involved a chase with Pamela Anderson. Show less «

He used to be Jesus Christ, but now I've got him down to my level. (Speaking about his The Detective...Show more »

He used to be Jesus Christ, but now I've got him down to my level. (Speaking about his The Detectives (1993) co-star Robert Powell, who once starred in the mini-series Jésus de Nazareth (1977)). Show less «

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested inte...Show more »

The whole debate on what food is best for us is complex, ongoing and often controlled by vested interests. Show less «

I want to do things I enjoy, and show business comes fifth or sixth down the line.

I was never the class clown, and I've no idea where the comedy came from.

I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but ...Show more »

I have been known to play a few rounds in my time. I'm not obsessive; I don't play in the dark, but even that's not out of the question because Stevie Wonder is also a golfer. Show less «

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jok...Show more »

When I hit the scene, there was Billy Connolly and Max Boyce. It was all mother-in-law and Irish jokes, and we broke the mould. Now there are thousands of comedians out there, and I don't think I can be above it all. Show less «

I have to confess here that I am a useless cook.

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers ba...Show more »

I used to be a columnist for 'Golf Monthly' and have contributed articles for national newspapers based on the humour that is in abundance in the game, which is more than can be said of tennis. Show less «

There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving l...Show more »

There's a rumour going 'round that if you amass a certain number of penalty points on your driving licence, the authorities will make you take your test again! Now, if ever there was an incentive to drive carefully, they could not have threatened a more terrifying ordeal. Show less «

The impact of T.V. on our lives in general gets most things out of proportion.

I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early ...Show more »

I should be more vocal about the things I believe are doing us harm, but many years ago in my early twenties, I learned a bit of a lesson. I started to realise at that time the benefits of eating healthy food and drink. Show less «

Having signed a few autographs in my time, I always wonder what the heck people do with them.

Birmingham, as the centre of the country, indeed the universe, should play a big part in the World C...Show more »

Birmingham, as the centre of the country, indeed the universe, should play a big part in the World Cup 2018, so I'm all for making sure we help bring international football into our city and region. (On backing England's bid for the 2018 FIFA World Cup) Show less «

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfactio...Show more »

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy. Show less «

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's...Show more »

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then. Show less «

Jasper Carrott

Jasper Carrott's FILMOGRAPHY

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