Birthday: 16 December 1961, Valdosta, Georgia, USA
Birth Name: William Melvin Hicks
Height: 185 cm
Born in Georgia but raised in Houston since the age of 7, this self-described "Prince of Darkness" was compelled to use the comedy stage as his philosophic soapbox. At 13, he would sneak out of his suburban house to hustle his way onto open-mike night rosters. In two brief decades, Hicks worked his way up the sweat-stained comedy ladder t...
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Born in Georgia but raised in Houston since the age of 7, this self-described "Prince of Darkness" was compelled to use the comedy stage as his philosophic soapbox. At 13, he would sneak out of his suburban house to hustle his way onto open-mike night rosters. In two brief decades, Hicks worked his way up the sweat-stained comedy ladder to national exposure on The Tonight Show, Late Show with David Letterman and an HBO cable special. Rolling Stone named him the "hot stand-up" of 1993. He was the hit of the 1990 and 1991 Just for Laughs comedy festivals in Montreal. Dead at 32, the enigmatic Hicks was admired, reviled and misunderstood. - The Montreal Gazette, March 28, 1994 Show less «
I hate patriotism...I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
I hate patriotism...I can't stand it. It's a round world last time I checked.
On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged...Show more »
On the theft of his material by Denis Leary: "I have a scoop for you. I stole his act. I camouflaged it with punchlines, and to really throw people off, I did it before he did." Show less «
I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants i...Show more »
I ascribe to Mark Twain's theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House. Show less «
It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bea...Show more »
It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Show less «
The day they find a cure for HIV there will be fucking in the streets. It's over!
The day they find a cure for HIV there will be fucking in the streets. It's over!
At his final show: "This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in Americ...Show more »
At his final show: "This is the material, by the way, that has kept me virtually anonymous in America for the past 15 years. Gee, I wonder why we're hated the world over? Look at these fat Americans in the front row - 'Why doesn't he just hit fruit with a hammer?' Folks, I could have done that, walked around being a millionaire and franchising myself but no, I had to have this weird thing about trying to illuminate the collective unconscious and help humanity. Fucking moron." Show less «
I was reading in a Waffle House and this waitress comes up to me and says "What you reading for?" Ge...Show more »
I was reading in a Waffle House and this waitress comes up to me and says "What you reading for?" Gee, no-one's ever asked me that. What am I reading FOR? Did I just come out of an AA closet with reading? I read, there, I said it, I feel better. I read for many reasons, one of which is so that I don't end up as a ******* waffle waitress! Then this hillybilly comes up and says "Weeeell lookee here, looks like we got ourselves a reader!" Show less «
[asked where a comedian should draw the line] There are no lines. There are no lines. I say, erase a...Show more »
[asked where a comedian should draw the line] There are no lines. There are no lines. I say, erase all the lines. Show less «
I love going to the movies. So I'm watching Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) and I'm thinking 'you ...Show more »
I love going to the movies. So I'm watching Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) and I'm thinking 'you know what? There is no way that you will ever be able to top these special effects in a movie again, you cannot top this shit.' Unless we started using terminally ill stunt people in the motion picture industry. Show less «
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'...Show more »
I never got along with my dad. Kids used to come up to me and say, 'My dad can beat up your dad.' I'd say 'Yeah? When?' Show less «
I'm sorry if any of you are catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by t...Show more »
I'm sorry if any of you are catholic. I'm not sorry if you're offended, I'm actually just sorry by the fact that you're catholic. Show less «
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? Tha...Show more »
I'm tired of this back-slapping "Isn't humanity neat?" bullshit. We're a virus with shoes, okay? That's all we are. Show less «